For a while, I was my own personal hero in health improvement. I had just underwent gallbladder surgery, and was determined to improve my overall well-being. I was on a six-week medical leave after the surgery, and as a result I had a LOT of time to think. I thought about my husband, and how he needs me as much as I need him. Why would I stay unhealthy and jeopardize our time together (which, we both agree, is a minimum of another 70 years)? I thought about my nephew and niece. I love them so much, and they need me to be there for them - chasing them around, going to their school events when they get older. How could I let them down? And I thought about my mother, who passed away at 41 (when I was 19). She never went to the doctor because she was always worried they would find something terrible. But because she never went, she died of a latent health issue she'd had all of her life. Losing her is something I will never fully recover from. How could I do that to my family and friends?
All of this thinking amounted to some major motivation for me to make some serious life changes. I joined the gym, and to my surprise, I really loved it. I didn't completely overhaul my eating habits, but I certainly started to make some healthier choices. I took vitamins every day without fail. I (mostly) gave up coffee and caffeinated soda. I even started to stick to a skin care regimen that seriously improved my skin. This went on for months. I couldn't believe my success! I wasn't looking for physical results - rather, I was looking to feel better. And I really, truly did. My husband was so proud of me. I
was so proud of me!
After months had passed by of this new and improved me, I ran into a series of stressful months. We all have them, I know. And in retrospect, no single major, stressful event happened. It was just a rolling accumulation of stressors. I found myself skipping the gym to go home and take a nap. Eating McDonald's for dinner because it was easy. And drinking a giant cup of coffee every morning to perk myself along. Which brings us to the present day.
I have to say, I feel kind of "off". I'm not digesting food very well, not sleeping well at all, and my sinuses are out of control. I stepped back on the scale for the first time in a very long time and...let's just say I was not happy with what I saw. Not feeling well physically definitely affects me mentally. I just haven't "felt like" doing a lot of things - the gym, even going out socially - that I normally love. A co-worker stopped me this morning and asked out of genuine concern if everything was OK. That floored me - I am always the cheerful, constantly motivated type at work.
It's time to re-think...re-motivate...re-do! If there's one thing I have learned through all of this, it's that I am the only person that can pull myself out of a rut. And when I put my mind to something and truly commit, look out world! Today I feel the old me trying to claw her way out, and that makes me smile - I love that girl!